Murphy's Law of the Open Road

When there is a very long road upon which there is a one-way bridge placed at random, and there are only two cars on that road, it follows that:
The two cars are going in opposite directions, and
They will always meet at the bridge.
Your car never depreciates more than when your neighbor buys a new one. Sent by John Wish
Whatever side of the pump you park your car, the tank lid will be on the other side. Sent by David "The Fish"
If you're looking in the mirror and all you can see is a Semi's grill, even if you hit the brake, you won't stop. Sent by Timothy Boilard
As you attempt to get to your car, torrential downpours will occur. Once inside, the sky will be blue, the birds will be chirping, and a rainbow will be on the horizon. Sent by Ana M.
Rand-eye's law: Your car will run out of gas where there are no gas stations. Sent by Drviagra69@aol.com
Making expensive modifications increases the gravitational attraction between your car and large objects. Sent by David Poole
If you treat your car like a racing car, then it will develop expensive racing problems. Sent by David Poole
Gene Van Speed Law:
Regardless of how fast you go, someone behind you is in a hurry.
Regardless of how fast you go, someone will delay you.
The probability of 1 and 2 happening simultaneously is directly proportional to the amount of oncoming traffic, inversely proportional to the distance to the next no-passing zone, and directly proportional to the length of the no-passing zone. Sent by Gene Van
A quiet intersection never has traffic until you are ready to cross it. Sent by Jesse Janowiak
You can drive a car into any river ford, just don't expect always to be able to drive out. Sent by Marc Underwood
The red light is always longer than the green one.
On a two-lane road, no cars will come from the opposite direction where the lanes are divided by a white line. However, as soon as it's allowed to bypass, the opposite lane is jammed. Sent by Pieter Luyt
The louder the car alarm, the more likely everyone but the owner will hear it. Sent by Dave Sharma
If you're late for work, every traffic light is Red. Sent by Airbornemonty
Anthony Kenny Right of Way Law:
The vehicle with the most mass has the automatic right of way.
The oldest vehicle has the automatic right of way.
The cheapest vehicle has the automatic right of way.
The vehicle with the most collisions has the automatic right of way.
The vehicle with the cheapest insurance deductible has the automatic right of way.
The vehicle with the largest driver has the automatic right of way.
The vehicle with the most suspected firearms on board has the automatic right of way.
The vehicle with the most factual firearms on board has the automatic right of way. Sent by Anthony Kenny
Any driver in front of you will immediately lose the ability to drive their car. Sent by Mike Berneathy
No matter the warranty coverage length, the car will break down the day the warranty expires.
At the exact moment that your car insurance lapses, the probability of being involved in an accident increases exponentially
Even if you never smoke, eat, or drink in your vehicle, there will be mysterious stains on the carpet and/or upholstery during trade-in. Sent by Shana