Murphy's Law of the Open Road

• When there is a very long road upon which there is a one-way bridge placed at random, and there are only two cars on that road, it follows that:
• The two cars are going in opposite directions, and
• They will always meet at the bridge.
• Your car never depreciates more than when your neighbor buys a new one. Sent by John Wish
• Whatever side of the pump you park your car, the tank lid will be on the other side. Sent by David "The Fish"
• If you're looking in the mirror and all you can see is a Semi's grill, even if you hit the brake, you won't stop. Sent by Timothy Boilard
• As you attempt to get to your car, torrential downpours will occur. Once inside, the sky will be blue, the birds will be chirping, and a rainbow will be on the horizon. Sent by Ana M.
• Rand-eye's law: Your car will run out of gas where there are no gas stations. Sent by Drviagra69@aol.com
• Making expensive modifications increases the gravitational attraction between your car and large objects. Sent by David Poole
• If you treat your car like a racing car, then it will develop expensive racing problems. Sent by David Poole
• Gene Van Speed Law:
• Regardless of how fast you go, someone behind you is in a hurry.
• Regardless of how fast you go, someone will delay you.
• The probability of 1 and 2 happening simultaneously is directly proportional to the amount of oncoming traffic, inversely proportional to the distance to the next no-passing zone, and directly proportional to the length of the no-passing zone. Sent by Gene Van
• A quiet intersection never has traffic until you are ready to cross it. Sent by Jesse Janowiak
• You can drive a car into any river ford, just don't expect always to be able to drive out. Sent by Marc Underwood
• The red light is always longer than the green one.
• On a two-lane road, no cars will come from the opposite direction where the lanes are divided by a white line. However, as soon as it's allowed to bypass, the opposite lane is jammed. Sent by Pieter Luyt
• The louder the car alarm, the more likely everyone but the owner will hear it. Sent by Dave Sharma
• If you're late for work, every traffic light is Red. Sent by Airbornemonty
• Anthony Kenny Right of Way Law:
• The vehicle with the most mass has the automatic right of way.
• The oldest vehicle has the automatic right of way.
• The cheapest vehicle has the automatic right of way.
• The vehicle with the most collisions has the automatic right of way.
• The vehicle with the cheapest insurance deductible has the automatic right of way.
• The vehicle with the largest driver has the automatic right of way.
• The vehicle with the most suspected firearms on board has the automatic right of way.
• The vehicle with the most factual firearms on board has the automatic right of way. Sent by Anthony Kenny
• Any driver in front of you will immediately lose the ability to drive their car. Sent by Mike Berneathy
• No matter the warranty coverage length, the car will break down the day the warranty expires.
• At the exact moment that your car insurance lapses, the probability of being involved in an accident increases exponentially
• Even if you never smoke, eat, or drink in your vehicle, there will be mysterious stains on the carpet and/or upholstery during trade-in. Sent by Shana