Murphy's Computer Laws

When designing a program to handle all possible dumb errors, nature creates a dumber user. Sent by Rich Spencer.

You only receive instant messaging when working on a project that is due instantly. Sent by Keith.

The amount of damage a string of code can do is inversely proportional to the length of the string. Sent by Kit Balmer.

- Kit Balmer

The scariest of viruses is the virus you do not know is already there. Sent by Stravag.

- Stravag

Antivirus systems only effectively work on viruses after they have passed their prime. Sent by Stravag.

- Stravag

The survivability of a system is directly proportional to the price of the cooling system applied to it and inversely proportional to the amount of use it sees. Sent by Stravag.

- Stravag

The sound of grinding metal or the sight of smoke coming from a case warns you that you are trying to do too little with too little. Sent by Stravag.

- Stravag

Computer masochism is when a computer takes all the abuse you think you can give it and continues working as it should. Sent by Stravag.

- Stravag

Computer sadism: When the computer causes physical or mental damage to a person and can't receive such a return favor (due to management rules). Sent by Stravag.

- Stravag

Software Reliability: Investment in software reliability will increase until it exceeds the probable cost of errors. Sent by Bill Pramik.

- Bill Pramik

If you're in a hurry, your computer will crash, a hard drive will become corrupted, or your files will be erased. Anyway, you're screwed if you have a deadline. Sent by Logan

- Logan

If it ain't broke, Overclock it. Sent by Michael Horvath.

- Michael Horvath

A computer is only as smart as the person using it. Sent by Michael Horvath.

- Michael Horvath

The more pop-up screens you have, the more likely the boss will come by. Sent by Mark.

The boss will always come to your workspace when you accidentally open an adult link. Sent by Mark.

The smaller your email account, the more junk mail you will get. Sent by Mark.

Edward V. Berard Law: Walking on water and developing software to specification are easy as long as both are frozen. Sent by Andre Van Dun

A program that compiles on the first run has an error in the algorithm. Sent by Iavor Dimitrov.

- Iavor Dimitrov

The problem always exists between one keyboard and its respective chair. Sent by Capt_ Anderson.

- Capt\_ Anderson

A virus is erased when the hard drive crashes, making it useless for an antivirus program to fix. Sent by Mitch.

- Mitch

A complete computer breakdown will happen shortly after the maintenance person has left. Sent by Jan Wenall.

No matter how big a hard drive you buy, you'll need to double it in a year. Sent by Pliaskos

- Pliaskos

Corollary: ACPI shutdowns will fail frequently when you risk being caught doing something. Sent by Stravag.

- Stravag

Corollary: ACPI shutdown (sometimes faster to get to than the plug) does not always work. Sent by Stravag.

- Stravag

The quickest way to shut down a PC is to unplug it. Sent by Pliaskos

- Pliaskos