Murphy's Cowboy Action Shooting (CAS) Laws[^1]

No matter how the plate is positioned, the fragment will always reflect forward towards the stage. Sent by Kit Dalton.
The most expensive and hard-to-find (38-40/32-20) cartridges will always land forward of the firing line. Sent by Kit Dalton.
Spurs can be put on backwards and upside down, no matter which side the buckle is on. Sent by Kit Dalton.
If it's dark outside, boots will always go on the wrong feet. Sent by Kit Dalton.
If it's daylight outside, the boots will always go on the wrong feet. Sent by Kit Dalton.
The whiter the hat, the deeper the mud hole it falls in. Sent by Kit Dalton.
Your feet will always swell on the banquet night when you wear tight-fitting dress boots. Sent by Kit Dalton.
If a cop stops him on his way to a meeting, he will always ask, "Are there any weapons in the car?" Sent by Kit Dalton.
All cops who stop cowboys going to or from a meet never have a sense of western humor. Sent by Kit Dalton.
Don't ever try to joke around with a cop when you are transporting 8+ guns and 1000+ rounds of ammo to or from a Club called Vigilante Colt Justice Shooting Club. Sent by Kit Dalton.
Corollary: Always try substituting Old Western Texas Poets Sonneteer Society for Vigilante Colt Justice Shooting Club. Sent by Kit Dalton.
The first time you're running real late is the first time the safety meeting will start on time. Sent by Kit Dalton.
A secure, drop-proof gun holster - isn't. Sent by Kit Dalton.
The time you locate that gun you've always wanted at a price far below market value for cash only right then is the time you will have forgotten to visit the ATM before leaving home, and the two pards behind you will be waving greenbacks at the seller. Sent by Kit Dalton.
When it's time to leave for the airport to your first EOT, and all your pards are waiting in the is car, that's the time the safe will refuse to open, and the only safe/locksmith within 50 miles is on vacation, and your CAS friend, Yellow Dog Tick, will be fresh out of dynamite. Sent by Kit Dalton.
Green, pink, and yellow make smart-looking cowboy outfits for pards, pardettes, and horses. Sent by Kit Dalton.
Green, pink, and yellow dress suits are not good choices for work, church, weddings, trials, funerals, job interviews, etc. Sent by Kit Dalton.
If you say anything to a cowboy with blue hair and an orange beard wearing green, pink, and yellow outfits, telling him he's a handsome-looking buckaroo vaquero would be in your best interest. Sent by Kit Dalton.
If you call an armed cowboy a buckaroo, be sure the B doesn't sound like a V or F. Sent by Kit Dalton.
A cowboy packing two Colts and carrying a double can wear anything he pleases. Sent by Kit Dalton.
Osama bin Laden has never seen the movie "The Wild Bunch". Sent by Kit Dalton.
One flatbed trailer loaded with armed cowboys really can depose Castro on Friday and Saddam Hussein on Saturday, with time left over for a banquet on the Riviera on Saturday night. Sent by Kit Dalton.
The game of "Cowboys and al Qaeda" has never been played. Sent by Kit Dalton.
Earplugs will be instantly remembered after the first report of a 26+-round stage shot inside a small building. Sent by Kit Dalton.
A timer reading showing a negative number proves that cowboys can go faster than light speed, making Einstein a waddy. Sent by Kit Dalton.
Stealth Bullets only work in stealth guns on a stealth stag, being shot by a stealth cowboy or cowgirl. Sent by Kit Dalton.
If the last shot for a clean match is a mandatory knockdown, when hit, it will never go down. Sent by Kit Dalton.
If you win the match with a stock Ruger and are ahead by .25 seconds, the hammer will always slip on the last shot. Sent by Kit Dalton.
You know it's time to stop reloading and come to bed when your wife calls out for a DQ for failure to engage. Sent by Kit Dalton.
The cost of a real Colt always equals two or more (2) SS checks. Sent by Kit Dalton.
No matter how many carts you have, you will always be urged to build just one more. Sent by Kit Dalton.
No matter how many carts you have made based on years of CAS experience, some new pair will have a better one on their first time out. Sent by Kit Dalton.
Gun carts are addictive. The only known cure is to build a factory and hire help to mass-produce your last and perfect cart. Sent by Kit Dalton.
No cart is ever perfect. Sent by Kit Dalton.
No matter how wide the tread and how big the tires, your cart will tip over at Tin Star Ranch. Sent by Kit Dalton.
Cowboys and boys who ice. Sent by Kit Dalton.
Skate and dance to show tunes are the only real men authorized to wear rhinestones. Sent by Kit Dalton.
If you carry oxygen for a pick-me-up before stage time, some fool will always use it to strike a match to light his cigar. Sent by Kit Dalton.
Modern-day cowboys don't roll their own. (think about it). Sent by Kit Dalton.
Modern-day cowboys do yell, YAHOO DOT COM. Sent by Kit Dalton.
The cost of new CB equipment will always equal your checking account balance. Sent by Kit Dalton.
If you ask the cost of playing CAS, you probably can't afford it. Sent by Kit Dalton.
No matter how often they are cycled at home, new guns will lock up at the first match. Sent by Kit Dalton.
All guns, no matter how many $$ spent on them for action jobs, will always lock up. Sent by Kit Dalton.
Action jobs - aren't. Sent by Kit Dalton.
If used, sunscreen will always get into your eyes. Sent by Kit Dalton.
Corollary: while shooting the longest and hardest scene. Sent by Kit Dalton.
Your expensive, new safety shooting glasses will never have the right correction for CAS work. Sent by Kit Dalton.
Your extra bullet will always be in your cart if the stage calls for a reload off the body. Sent by Kit Dalton.
If the stage calls for an extra bullet to be loaded off your body, that will be the one you drop and the only one in that caliber that you have on you. Sent by Kit Dalton.
If the stage calls for reloading off your body, the first and sometimes the second cartridge you pull out of your pouch will always be the wrong caliber. Sent by Kit Dalton.
Corollary: The cowboy will try to load it anyway. Sent by Kit Dalton.
The wrong caliber for your rifle will not chamber, but it will always fit through the loading gate and jam under the carrier. Sent by Kit Dalton.
Thirty-eight caliber bullets will go through the loading gate of a W32-20 rifle and jam. Sent by Kit Dalton.
45-long Colts will go through the loading gate of a 45-70 and jam. Sent by Kit Dalton.
You can always ID a Marlin man by the screwdrivers he carries in his ammo belt loops. Sent by Kit Dalton.
Screws on a Marlin can't be over-stressed. Sent by Kit Dalton.
Screws on a Winchester that are over-stressed will always strip out. Sent by Kit Dalton.
Lock tight - isn't. Sent by Kit Dalton.
Secure, fail-proof Tang sights will always fall. Sent by Kit Dalton.
If the stage calls for 10 rifle rounds, the rifle will always jam on the first round. Sent by Kit Dalton.
If the rifle is the first gun used on a stage, it will always jam on the second round. Sent by Kit Dalton.
Your spare gun will never work when needed for that purpose. Sent by Kit Dalton.
Modern-day Stag grips aren't. Sent by Kit Dalton.
Modern-day real ivory grips aren't. Sent by Kit Dalton.
Hardwood grips will crack the first time the gun is mishandled. Sent by Kit Dalton.
Grips guaranteed to fit - don't. Sent by Kit Dalton.
Clean black powder isn't. Sent by Kit Dalton.
A 42-inch gun belt can never be stretched far enough to fit around a 48-inch waist. Sent by Kit Dalton.
Loose gun belts will always fall off when going down the stage steps while on the timer. Sent by Kit Dalton.

[^1]: Most cowboys know of Murphy's Law, what they may not know is that Murphy, in his wisdom, wrote his laws for CAS long before it came into existence.Back then CAS wasn't yet a proven science or art form like it is today and things could actually go wrong with firearms, ammo, stage props, spurs, etc. and some cowboys, as hard as it is the believe, actually missed.It was for these reasons that Capt. Murphy wrote his famous laws for Cowboy Action Shooting.