Murphy's graphic design laws
- Your fonts will default.
- If you have two versions of a photo, you will send the wrong one to the printer.
- Promises made by the salesperson never make it to the pressroom.
- The salesperson will promise anything.
- If the text consists of two words, one will be misspelled.
- Speed. Quality. Affordability. Pick two.
- If the run is wrong, it's never the press operator's fault.
- Spell checkers don't.
- Grammar checkers don't, either.
- Global search-and-replaces aren't.
- The index entry you leave out will be the first one the client looks under.
- Optical Character Recognition is good comedy.
- If three designs are shown to a client, your least favorite will be chosen.
- If two designs are shown, a third will be requested. If provided, then one of the first two will be chosen.
- Blueline proofs reveal previously invisible errors.
- The best designs never survive contact with the client.
- You will misspell the name of the client's spouse.
- Your best idea is already copyrighted.
- Creative inspiration flows in inverse proportion to the distance from the studio.
- Doctors, astronauts, and plumbers need training to do their jobs, but anyone with a copy of Publisher is a graphic designer
- No matter how detailed the tech support FAQ is, nobody has ever heard of your problem
- The number of colors in a client's design will equal the number of colors in the original bid specs, plus two
- The client's disk won't run on your equipment
- If you purchase new equipment to read your client's disk, it will be the last disk of that type you will ever receive
- Your client won't "get it."
All the laws above were sent by Jay
- A single picture tells more than a thousand
words. Any technical picture has more than
- A single picture has more bugs than be described
with thousand words
The last two laws were sent by Janne Siren