Browse Murphy's Laws

The last man entering an elevator going up goes to the lowest floor.

- Dimple Venigalla

An alarm clock can cause even the most passive of us to become violent.

- Brad Johnson

The least irritating alarm is the most inefficient.

- Brad Johnson

Radio clocks never go off.

- Brad Johnson

Corollary: Smashing an alarm clock to pieces is a healthy and cheap way to relieve tension.

- Brad Johnson

Wirth's law: Software is getting slower more quickly than hardware is getting faster

Wiio's laws: Communication usually fails, except by accident.

Night vision - isn't.

- Truga

A combat vet will know the sound of an unfamiliar weapon in an instant and will point and shoot.

- Jim

Medals are OK, but having your body and friends in one piece at the end of the day is better.

- Jim

Hunter's Observation on Experts: An expert is someone with an opinion and a word processor.

- Hunter

Never argue with a fool; people might not know the difference.

No matter how long or hard you shop for an item, it will be sold somewhere cheaper after buying it.

A paint drip will always find the hole in the newspaper and land on the carpet underneath (and will not be discovered until it has dried).

- Ralph

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.

If anything can go wrong, it will.

Whenever you think your drive will go right, it won't.

- Teodoro Correa

'Armor' is a fantasy invented by your C.O. to make you feel better.

- Luke

Examine all chest clutches first, bleeders next, then the rest of the whiners.

The more equipment you see on an EMT's belt, the newer they are.

You may not install a "car catcher" on the front of the ambulance.

Conversely, if you are in a descending elevator, the last person to enter will punch the highest floor.

- Bob McLaughlin

If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.

If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.

Success is a matter of luck, just ask any failure.