Murphy's real estat laws

  • That sweet little girl with the baby that you rented to, will start dating the mad motorcycle man from hell, ... and several of his friends, ... the very next week.
  • Tenants have at least one relative get sick or die per month, so ... they will just have to pay you later.
  • If a tenant attempts to replace the washer in a faucet, plan on replacing the faucet; perhaps all the plumbing in the building.
  • Prospective tenants who make an appointment to see your rental across town, often get kidnapped on the way there... so there was just no way they could call you.
  • Tenants only lock themselves out in the middle of the night... or on Christmas.
  • When a furnace breaks in mid-winter, it is always the heat exchanger.
  • At least one tenant's check will be "lost in the mail" every month.
  • Every lost pet will find its way to your rental.
  • The hardware store closes five minutes before you get there.
  • A tenant's ability to see dirt and damage is much greater when the move in than when they move out.
  • Your best tenants always get job transfers during the worst rental markets.
  • Everything in your rentals will break 100 times faster than in your own home.
  • The insurance inspector always shows up to take photos of the building as you are putting the evicted tenant’s possessions on the curb.
  • Tenants always swear under oath that the window was broken when they moved in.
  • When a tenant calls and says, "Hi, how are you?" something is drastically wrong.
  • If it exists, your tenant will try to flush it down the toilet.
  • If you have any questions about anything, ask your tenants.
  • If it is pouring rain, you can be sure the windows are open at one or more at your units.
  • Proper disposal of chewing gum is in the carpet