Murphy's College Student Laws

If you didn't cite something, that was the one thing your professor wanted you to cite. Sent by Kevin Zuhn.

- Kevin Zuhn

If you cite a source for information, it came from somebody else. Sent by Kevin Zuhn.

If you provide information without citing the source, the information provided is wrong. Sent by Kevin Zuhn.

Corollary: If you don't study, every question will appear to be something you remember reading in your textbooks from a month ago, hence will appear, deceptively, of course, easy, although you will not recall the exact phrasing of an answer. Sent by Winnie Choo.

- Winnie Choo

The paper will be content-based if you don't study for that important examination.

Corollary: If you memorize information, it will be useless.

If you study hard for that important examination, the setters may decide to change their focus to 'thinking-based' and 'analytical'.

Community College credo: Fix anything with duct tape, eat only ramen, and drink only caffeine. Sent by Eppeguy@aol.com, he got these laws from a math teacher.

- Eppeguy@aol.com

Any simple idea will be denoted using three different symbols. Sent by Eppeguy@aol.com, he got these laws from a math teacher.

- Eppeguy@aol.com

Corollary: Problems you can't work on will be on the test. Sent by Eppeguy@aol.com, he got these laws from a math teacher.

- Eppeguy@aol.com

Problems that you can work on won't be on the test. Sent by Eppeguy@aol.com, he got these laws from a math teacher.

- Eppeguy@aol.com

Notes written in class are hieroglyphics at home. Sent by Eppeguy@aol.com, he got these laws from a math teacher.

- Eppeguy@aol.com

What is "obvious" to everyone else won't be to you. Sent by Eppeguy@aol.com, he got these laws from a math teacher.

- Eppeguy@aol.com

The harder you study, the farther behind you get. Knowing mathematics and teaching mathematics are not equivalent. Sent by Eppeguy@aol.com, he got these laws from a math teacher.

- Eppeguy@aol.com

One college student in a hot rod car has half a brain; two have no brain. Sent by Wildmoongurl69@aol.com

- Wildmoongurl69@aol.com

The professor never sticks to the syllabus. Sent by John Hofstra.

Whenever you have beer in your room, your RA decides it's the perfect time to make surprise inspections. Sent by John Hofstra.

Your parents never call you on your cell phone when you're at a party. Sent by John Hofstra.

Dining dollars are always scarce. Sent by John Hofstra.

Pizza makes a complete meal, hot or cold. Sent by John Hofstra.

No matter what the problem is, alcohol will always solve it. Sent by John Hofstra.

You just finished the paper that counts as your final five minutes before class, only to discover the printer is out of ink. Sent by John Hofstra.

- John Hofstra