Murphy's Commerce Laws
Discover why things go wrong in Murphy's Commerce Laws. A comprehensive archive of 95 Murphy's Laws and corollaries.
Laws in this category
- fafaalha
Hofstadter's law: Tasks always take longer than expected, even when this law is considered.
Billing Statements do not provide 'Actual Posting Dates'. They reflect 'Accurate Posting Dates'
- ?
Any item you want to purchase from a catalog will always be out of stock when you want to buy it.
- Robert Van Sile
- Rebekah
- Robert Nicholson
If the salesperson says, "All you have to do is..." you know you're in trouble.
- Robert Nicholson
The more complicated the job is, the less time and useful information you will be given.
- Robert Nicholson
- John Somers
- John Hughes
Ament's Second Law of Corporate Survival: Duck.
- Michael Ament
- Michael Ament
Kevin Law of Activity: One's willingness to do something is inversely proportional to:
Eldredge's Aphorism: Procedures should not be used as a substitute for thought.
- Brad Eldredge, Ph.D., P.E
Any given object's artistry is inversely proportional to how well it works.
- Steven Halkett
The quality of artistry of any given object is inversely proportional to how useful it is.
- Steven Halkett
Excess of analysis causes paralysis.
- Asier Zabarte
- Asier Zabarte
Little things make much more of a difference, but the little things don't get as much recognition.
- Simion
The Customer is always unhappy about your product and service.
- Kiran
- K. Balasubramanian
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More laws in this category
- The first 90% of a project takes 90% of the time, and the last 10% takes the other 90%
- If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights
- A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the pants
- Don't be irreplaceable; you can't be promoted if you can't be replaced
- It doesn't matter what you do; it only matters what you say you've done and what you say you will do
- After any salary increase, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before
- The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get
- You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard
- Eat one live toad first thing in the morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day
- Never ask two questions in a business letter. The reply will discuss the one you are least interested in...
- When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they never talk about themselves
- If you don't succeed, try again, and then quit. It's no use being a damn fool about it
- When the boss asks for a ride home from the office, beer cans will always roll on the floor of your car
- The boss is always right
- Mother said there would be days like this, but she never said there would be so many
- Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back
- Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous"
- Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour
- To err is human, to forgive is not company policy
- In case of an atomic bomb attack, work rules will be temporarily suspended
- Anyone can do any work, provided it isn't what he is supposed to do
- Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail
- The last person who quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong until the...
- There is never enough time to do it right the first time, but there is always enough time to do it over
- The more pretentious a corporate name, the smaller the organization
- If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it
- You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk
- If someone says he will do something "without fail", he won't
- People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't
- People have always been available for work
- People don't make the same mistake twice; they make it three, four, or five times
- If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done
- At work, a person's authority is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying
- When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried
- You will always get the greatest recognition for the job you least like
- No one gets sick on Wednesdays
- Doing the job is no excuse for not following the rules
- Following the rules will not get the job done
- When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to "How would the Lone...
- No matter how much you do, you never do enough
- The longer the title, the less important the job
- Machines that have broken down will work perfectly when the repairman arrives
- Progress is only made on alternate Tuesdays
- An "acceptable" level of employment means that the government economist, to whom it is acceptable, still...
- Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only worsens it
- If profits are allowed, the employee who has performed his duties faithfully and without fault for five...
- All vacations and holidays create problems, except for one's own
- The value of any job task is inversely proportional to its deadline
- When you see an item in the flyer, it's either sold out or the price has doubled by the time you get to...
- The person who is right at the meeting or discussion will be the person who is not listened to and later...
- When you have no cash, you are in great pain and have to go to the bank to find that the bank's computers...
- Bills travel through the mail twice as fast as checks
- No man is an island, until it comes to paying the bills
- If you have a little extra money to spend, something will break and cost more than that little extra
- There is plenty of it if you don't want it; if you need it, they're all out
- The more you like a product, the more likely it is to be discontinued
- If you are shopping to find a certain thing, no matter how simple it may be, no matter where you go, you...
- The one time you didn't make a copy of your 1040, the one the IRS did not receive
- I'm as good as my employer
- Slog all day and no one notices, take a 5-minute breather to play Windows Solitaire, and the boss silently...
- All urgent and critical reports are handed out on Friday evening and are due first thing Monday morning
- Zain's Nutcracker Law
- Expenses rise to exceed income
- Just-in-Time inventory isn't
- In a line, the biggest order is up front. The customer has coupons and wants to write a check
- In a 24-hour store, five customers always come to the register simultaneously. The customer with the...
- What you don't know will cost you big bucks
- It is no disgrace to be poor, but it is inconvenient
- When in trouble, change the subject. However, this may lead the subject to another one of your offenses
- When in trouble, do what you can. If that fails, try what you can't. If that fails, give yourself an A for...