Murphy's Commerce Laws

Sent by Clawd Hammer.

- Clawd Hammer

This was contained within a reply from a Retail Credit Account Analyst of a major Banking Establishment.

Billing Statements do not provide 'Actual Posting Dates'. They reflect 'Accurate Posting Dates'

If your Check-Book and Bank-Balance Sheet agree. Re-Do-It. You Goofed Up. Sent by ?. This is from my own experience over the past 50+ years!

Any item you want to purchase from a catalog will always be out of stock when you want to buy it. Sent by Robert Van Sile.

- Robert Van Sile

When you stand at your counter for hours and then go to break, the customer comes and rings the bell for help. Sent by Rebekah.

- Rebekah

Sent by Francis Assaf

- Francis Assaf

The simpler and quicker your transaction, the more complex and time-consuming the transaction of the person immediately ahead of you in the line.

The number of open service windows at banks, post offices, airline counters, etc., always equals [n/2 - m], n being the total number of windows and m being a random number between 1 and the total number of windows minus 1.

Assaf's Laws of Lines:

When a customer says, "It's perfect except..." you know it will be necessary to rebuild the whole piece. Sent by Robert Nicholson.

If the salesperson says, "All you have to do is..." you know you're in trouble. Sent by Robert Nicholson.

The more complicated the job is, the less time and useful information you will be given. Sent by Robert Nicholson.

Somers' Law of Management: One learns at least as much about management from poor managers as from good ones. Sent by John Somers

- John Somers

Inverse Rule of Contracts: The smaller the dollar amount of a contract, the longer it will take to negotiate. Sent by John Hughes

- John Hughes

Ament's Second Law of Corporate Survival: Duck. Sent by Michael Ament.

- Michael Ament

Ament's First Law of Corporate Survival: When you see the shit is about to hit the fan, shut your mouth. Sent by Michael Ament.

- Michael Ament

Sent by Kevin

- Kevin

The number of people who are relying on that person to do it.

The need for it to be done.

Kevin Law of Activity: One's willingness to do something is inversely proportional to:

Eldredge's Aphorism: Procedures should not be used as a substitute for thought. Sent by Brad Eldredge, Ph.D., P.E

- Brad Eldredge, Ph.D., P.E

Any given object's artistry is inversely proportional to how well it works. Sent by Steven Halkett.

- Steven Halkett

The quality of artistry of any given object is inversely proportional to how useful it is. Sent by Steven Halkett.

- Steven Halkett

Excess of analysis causes paralysis. Sent by Asier Zabarte

- Asier Zabarte