Murphy's Employees Laws

No matter which domain you are working in, its intersection with the field of your interest is always a NULL set. Sent by Abhinaw P..

- Abhinaw P.

You will always be caught, usually the first time you do something others have been getting away with. Sent by David G. Carroll.

- David G. Carroll

If you want to be busy, say you have nothing to do. Sent by David G. Carroll.

- David G. Carroll

If you want to know what is happening, ask those under you. Sent by David G. Carroll.

- David G. Carroll

Equal Opportunity programs - aren't. Sent by David G. Carroll.

- David G. Carroll

When you are convinced everything works just fine, you are overlooking something. Sent by Aad Kooijman.

It's not about the award, it's about the achievement. Sent by Alix Hein.

- Alix Hein

The last person to be fired or quit is responsible for all errors until the next person is fired or quits. Sent by Shaul.

- Shaul

When the most important task awaits you, you get the most interruptions. Sent by Viswanathan.

- Viswanathan

If you arrive late at the office, your boss is likely already in his room. Sent by Mohamed.

- Mohamed

Your Boss will always call you when you aren't at your desk. Sent by Julius.

- Julius

Everyone will hit one photocopier in the office to make it work. Most will secretly know this as the best office equipment in the building. Sent by Francoboom.

- Francoboom

The more you pay for the uniform, the less likely you will wear any part of it. Sent by Francoboom.

- Francoboom

The uniform you must wear was designed by a colorblind masochist who likes to laugh at those who have to wear it. Sent by Francoboom.

- Francoboom

The uniform you must wear comes in two sizes, small and pinchy. Sent by Francoboom.

- Francoboom

Being yourself will have to wait until you get home or at least to a bar. Sent by Francoboom.

- Francoboom

If you get used to thinking "screw you" after every superior speaks to you, you will blurt it out sooner or later. Unless you're a phone sex girl or a stripper, people will mind. Sent by Francoboom.

- Francoboom

If you bring your voodoo doll/adult magazine, or embarrassing cream to work, your boss will find it. Sent by Francoboom.

- Francoboom

Losing a job is never as fun or dignified as you imagine. Sent by Francoboom.

- Francoboom

If you've always wanted to do ______ during an interview ______ will get you arrested. Sent by Francoboom.

- Francoboom

The person interviewing you had less than half of your qualifications when they got the job and will want twice what you have. Sent by Francoboom.

- Francoboom

The more you hate a job and wish to leave, the longer you stay put. Sent by Francoboom.

- Francoboom

You will never get fired at the beginning of the day. Your boss will think this is good. Sent by Francoboom.

- Francoboom

The most enthusiastic worker doesn't get paid any better than anyone else. Sent by Francoboom.

- Francoboom

Free thought is a capital crime. Sent by Francoboom.

- Francoboom