Murphy's Employees Laws

Dilbert principle: Ineffective employees are promoted to management to minimize harm.

Peter principle: Employees rise to their level of incompetence.

Joy's law: Most of the smartest people work for someone else.

No matter which domain you are working in, its intersection with the field of your interest is always a NULL set.

- Abhinaw P.

You will always be caught, usually the first time you do something others have been getting away with.

- David G. Carroll

If you want to be busy, say you have nothing to do.

- David G. Carroll

If you want to know what is happening, ask those under you.

- David G. Carroll

Equal Opportunity programs - aren't.

- David G. Carroll

When you are convinced everything works just fine, you are overlooking something.

- Aad Kooijman

It's not about the award, it's about the achievement.

- Alix Hein

The last person to be fired or quit is responsible for all errors until the next person is fired or quits.

- Shaul

When the most important task awaits you, you get the most interruptions.

- Viswanathan

If you arrive late at the office, your boss is likely already in his room.

- Mohamed

Your Boss will always call you when you aren't at your desk.

- Julius

Everyone will hit one photocopier in the office to make it work. Most will secretly know this as the best office equipment in the building.

- Francoboom

The more you pay for the uniform, the less likely you will wear any part of it.

- Francoboom

The uniform you must wear was designed by a colorblind masochist who likes to laugh at those who have to wear it.

- Francoboom

The uniform you must wear comes in two sizes, small and pinchy.

- Francoboom

Being yourself will have to wait until you get home or at least to a bar.

- Francoboom

If you get used to thinking "screw you" after every superior speaks to you, you will blurt it out sooner or later. Unless you're a phone sex girl or a stripper, people will mind.

- Francoboom

If you bring your voodoo doll/adult magazine, or embarrassing cream to work, your boss will find it.

- Francoboom

Losing a job is never as fun or dignified as you imagine.

- Francoboom

If you've always wanted to do \_\_\_\_\_\_ during an interview \_\_\_\_\_\_ will get you arrested.

- Francoboom

The person interviewing you had less than half of your qualifications when they got the job and will want twice what you have.

- Francoboom

The more you hate a job and wish to leave, the longer you stay put.

- Francoboom