Murphy's Graphic Design Laws

A single picture tells over a thousand words.

- Janne Siren

Your client won't "get it."

- Jay

If you purchase new equipment to read your client's disk, it will be the last disk of that type you will ever receive.

- Jay

The client's disk won't run on your equipment.

- Jay

The number of colors in a client's design will equal the number of colors in the original bid specs, plus two.

- Jay

No matter how detailed the tech support FAQ is, nobody has ever heard of your problem.

- Jay

Doctors, astronauts, and plumbers need training to do their jobs, but everyone is a graphic designer.

- Jay

Creative inspiration flows inversely to distance from the studio.

- Jay

Your best idea is already copyrighted.

- Jay

You will misspell the name of the client's spouse.

- Jay

The best designs never survive contact with the client.

- Jay

Blueline proofs reveal previously invisible errors.

- Jay

If two designs are shown, a third will be requested.

- Jay

If three designs are shown to a client, your least favorite will be chosen.

- Jay

Optical Character Recognition is good comedy.

- Jay

The index entry you leave out will be the first one the client looks under.

- Jay

Global search-and-replaces - aren't.

- Jay

Grammar checkers - don't.

- Jay

Spell checkers - don't.

- Jay

If the run is wrong, it's never the press operator's fault.

- Jay

Speed. Quality. Affordability. Pick two.

- Jay

If the text consists of two words, one will be misspelled.

- Jay

The salesperson will promise anything.

- Jay

Promises made by the seller never reach the newsroom.

- Jay

If you have two versions of a photo, you will send the wrong one to the printer.

- Jay