Murphy's Graphic Design Laws

• Your fonts will default. Sent by Jay.
• If you have two versions of a photo, you will send the wrong one to the printer. Sent by Jay.
• Promises made by the seller never reach the newsroom. Sent by Jay.
• The salesperson will promise anything. Sent by Jay.
• If the text consists of two words, one will be misspelled. Sent by Jay.
• Speed. Quality. Affordability. Pick two. Sent by Jay.
• Corollary: Pick one. Sent by Jay.
• If the run is wrong, it's never the press operator's fault. Sent by Jay.
• Spell checkers - don't. Sent by Jay.
• Grammar checkers - don't. Sent by Jay.
• Global search-and-replaces - aren't. Sent by Jay.
• The index entry you leave out will be the first one the client looks under. Sent by Jay.
• Optical Character Recognition is good comedy. Sent by Jay.
• If three designs are shown to a client, your least favorite will be chosen. Sent by Jay.
• If two designs are shown, a third will be requested. Sent by Jay.
• Corollary: If a third option is provided, one of the first two will be chosen. Sent by Jay.
• Blueline proofs reveal previously invisible errors. Sent by Jay.
• The best designs never survive contact with the client. Sent by Jay.
• You will misspell the name of the client's spouse. Sent by Jay.
• Your best idea is already copyrighted. Sent by Jay.
• Creative inspiration flows inversely to distance from the studio. Sent by Jay.
• Doctors, astronauts, and plumbers need training to do their jobs, but everyone is a graphic designer. Sent by Jay.
• No matter how detailed the tech support FAQ is, nobody has ever heard of your problem. Sent by Jay.
• The number of colors in a client's design will equal the number of colors in the original bid specs, plus two. Sent by Jay.
• The client's disk won't run on your equipment. Sent by Jay.
• If you purchase new equipment to read your client's disk, it will be the last disk of that type you will ever receive. Sent by Jay.
• Your client won't "get it." Sent by Jay.
• A single picture tells over a thousand words. Sent by Janne Siren.
• Corollary: Any technical picture has over a thousand bugs. Sent by Janne Siren.
• Corollary: A single picture has more bugs than can be described with a thousand words. Sent by Janne Siren.