Murphy's Martial Arts Laws

No matter how often you take care of it before your promotion exam, you will invariably have to go to the bathroom when it's your turn.

- Emily Stewart

The other person in an otherwise vacant locker room will have the locker next to yours.

- Emily Stewart

After years of training without a single injury, you will pull a groin muscle the night before your black belt exam.

- Emily Stewart

After a flawless demonstration, you will trip on your way back to your seat.

- Emily Stewart

If you have to use your training in self-defense, your attacker's father will be a lawyer.

- Emily Stewart

The sensei will only use you during demonstrations for joint-locking techniques.

- Emily Stewart

The sensei will be sick the day you leave work early to make it to class on time.

- Emily Stewart

You will have trouble with the ties on your gi pants when members of the opposite sex are in class.

- Emily Stewart

The referee will always be looking the other way when you score.

- Emily Stewart

The wimp who made it through the eliminations on luck alone will suddenly turn into Bruce Lee when you're up against him.

- Emily Stewart