Murphy's Miscellaneous Laws

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Sent by Shai Waisel.

- Shai Waisel

If your dog suffers from diarrhea, it will happen between when the carpet is cleaned for the holidays and the last holiday get-together. Sent by Tom McClellan from Drop in for Coffee.

- Tom McClellan

Corollary: Every fish will eventually die. Sent by Michael Thompson.

- Michael Thompson

Aquarium Laws: Every aquarium will eventually leak. Sent by Michael Thompson.

- Michael Thompson

If your plane is about to crash, the parachutes are missing. Sent by Steve Chevalier.

- Steve Chevalier

Corollary: If you notice that one of the laws you read came from a different source, it was either completely innocent or malevolent. Sent by Kevin Zuhn.

- Kevin Zuhn

Comment: Consider many laws from this site, though not this one. Sent by Kevin Zuhn.

- Kevin Zuhn

Zuhnic Laws of Plagiarism: If you put a law into your own words, you can name it after yourself. Sent by Kevin Zuhn.

- Kevin Zuhn

The future is like now, but it will be longer. Sent by Paul.

- Paul

When playing board games involving quizzes, etc., you will always know the answers to everyone else's questions, but never your own. Sent by Darren.

- Darren

The one you buy will be the only one that doesn't work. Sent by -?Anonymous!

If someone ever said that something wouldn't go wrong in a billion years, they said it a billion years ago. Sent by -?Anonymous!

The more skilled you are at something, the worse it is when showing someone. Sent by -?Anonymous!

It will cost you more to get them out than to get a second set cut. Graham, an elevator technician, sent this, so he knows.

Keys dropped near an open elevator door will always fall down the crack.

The first thing to break is the irreparable. Sent by Oscar Sz.

- Oscar Sz.

You'll first have to do the last thing you wished for. Sent by Oscar Sz.

- Oscar Sz.

Opitz's law: Good luck is inversely proportional to good timing. Sent by Albert J. Opitz.

- Albert J. Opitz

It is a fact that everything in the universe moves counterclockwise. Sent by Safwan Aumari.

- Safwan Aumari

Murphy's Law is unconstitutional, but will never be repealed. Sent by Poetjds.

- Poetjds

Murphy's law will apply to you when you know you are lucky. If you know Murphy will hit you anytime, he won't, but then you will know he won't, so he will. Sent by Jay Novack.

- Jay Novack

If you have no problems, you have no clue what is happening. Sent by Christa.

- Christa

If you're happy, don’t worry, you’ll get over it. Sent by Christa.

- Christa

Assaf's Law of Advice: The only people less likely to follow your advice than those who receive it unsolicited are those who ask for it. Sent by Francis Assaf.

- Francis Assaf

The time you have to wait before bed increases proportionally to how tired you are. Sent by Harry Potter.

- Harry Potter