Murphy's Office Laws

The 90-90 Rule of Project Management states that the first 90% of a project requires 90% of the allotted time, and the remaining 10% takes another 90%.

- Bill Pramik

Paper is always strongest at the perforations.

- Robin

Assaf's Laws of Paperwork: When there are two possible forms to fill out on any given matter, the wrong form is always filled out first.

- Francis Assaf

The authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of functions in his pocket calculator.

- Carlo Concato

A person's mail frequency varies inversely with the amount of work at hand.

- Anand Devsharma

The stapler will be out of pins when needed.

- Vishwajeet

After a hard day of work, when starting your car at 11: 00 pm to leave the office, you'll realize you've run out of gas.

- Indian Dreamer

The coffee machine will be empty when you need coffee most.

- Indian Dreamer

The floppy that worked perfectly fine on your computer a few minutes ago will not open on your boss's or client's computer.

- Indian Dreamer

Only on the rarest days you come late, you'd bump into your boss smoking at the entrance.

- Indian Dreamer

When you are out of the office, the most important phone call is attended by the least concerned of your colleagues, who don't even care to ask who it is or don't remember.

- Indian Dreamer

You'd find the important phone number or e-mail you had been looking for only after you had contacted that person through some other means.

- Indian Dreamer

When you attend a client's call at a colleague's desk and need to jot down something urgently, none of the pens on his desk will write.

- Indian Dreamer

When the telephone operator leaves the board in night mode, all calls land only on your desk.

- Indian Dreamer

The better your presentation, the less the impact.

- Indian Dreamer

The client would not have reviewed the report/brief before attending your well-rehearsed presentation.

- Indian Dreamer

The office assistant would be on leave only when you need him most.

- Indian Dreamer

Only when you want to piss urgently would all the urinals be taken.

- Indian Dreamer

Your vehicles in the parking lot would be the hardest to remove in an emergency.

- Indian Dreamer

The computer's display settings will only play havoc when you must finish a presentation by the afternoon.

- Indian Dreamer

Your security guard will insist you leave by 7: 00 on the day you must stay till 10:00 to meet an important deadline.

- Indian Dreamer

When you're busy, all your colleagues will chat just outside your cabin.

- Indian Dreamer

The client will call only when you have left for a coffee break.

- Indian Dreamer

All emails except the most important one, which was sent way before, will find their way into your inbox.

- Indian Dreamer

The telephones won't work when you need to call long-distance urgently.

- Indian Dreamer