Murphy's Office Laws

Dive into the pessimism of Murphy's Office Laws. Here are 38 reasons why you should always have a backup plan.

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Laws in this category

Copier's law: The legibility of a copy is inversely proportional to its importance.

The 90-90 Rule of Project Management states that the first 90% of a project requires 90% of the allotted time, and the remaining 10% takes another 90%. Sent by Bill Pramik.

- Bill Pramik

Paper is always strongest at the perforations. Sent by Robin.

- Robin

Corollary: Once the right form has been filled out, signed by all parties concerned, sealed, and delivered, it turns out it was filled out wrong. Sent by Francis Assaf.

- Francis Assaf

Corollary: The wrong form is not discovered until it has been signed by all parties concerned, sealed, and delivered. Sent by Francis Assaf.

- Francis Assaf

Assaf's Laws of Paperwork: When there are two possible forms to fill out on any given matter, the wrong form is always filled out first. Sent by Francis Assaf.

- Francis Assaf

The authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of functions in his pocket calculator. Sent by Carlo Concato.

- Carlo Concato

A person's mail frequency varies inversely with the amount of work at hand. Sent by Anand Devsharma.

- Anand Devsharma

The stapler will be out of pins when needed. Sent by Vishwajeet.

- Vishwajeet

Corollary: After you run out of gas, you'll remember that the nearest gas station is at least 5 miles away. Sent by Indian Dreamer.

- Indian Dreamer

After a hard day of work, when starting your car at 11: 00 pm to leave the office, you'll realize you've run out of gas. Sent by Indian Dreamer.

- Indian Dreamer

The coffee machine will be empty when you need coffee most. Sent by Indian Dreamer.

- Indian Dreamer

The floppy that worked perfectly fine on your computer a few minutes ago will not open on your boss's or client's computer. Sent by Indian Dreamer.

- Indian Dreamer

Only on the rarest days you come late, you'd bump into your boss smoking at the entrance. Sent by Indian Dreamer.

- Indian Dreamer

When you are out of the office, the most important phone call is attended by the least concerned of your colleagues, who don't even care to ask who it is or don't remember. Sent by Indian Dreamer.

- Indian Dreamer

You'd find the important phone number or e-mail you had been looking for only after you had contacted that person through some other means. Sent by Indian Dreamer.

- Indian Dreamer

Corollary: If a pen will write, you wouldn't find a piece of paper within reach. Sent by Indian Dreamer.

- Indian Dreamer

When you attend a client's call at a colleague's desk and need to jot down something urgently, none of the pens on his desk will write. Sent by Indian Dreamer.

- Indian Dreamer

When the telephone operator leaves the board in night mode, all calls land only on your desk. Sent by Indian Dreamer.

- Indian Dreamer

The better your presentation, the less the impact. Sent by Indian Dreamer.

- Indian Dreamer

The client would not have reviewed the report/brief before attending your well-rehearsed presentation. Sent by Indian Dreamer.

- Indian Dreamer

The office assistant would be on leave only when you need him most. Sent by Indian Dreamer.

- Indian Dreamer

Only when you want to piss urgently would all the urinals be taken. Sent by Indian Dreamer.

- Indian Dreamer

Your vehicles in the parking lot would be the hardest to remove in an emergency. Sent by Indian Dreamer.

- Indian Dreamer

The computer's display settings will only play havoc when you must finish a presentation by the afternoon. Sent by Indian Dreamer.

- Indian Dreamer