Murphy's Real Estate Laws

• That sweet little girl with the baby you rented to will start dating the mad motorcycle man from hell and several of his friends the very next week.
• Tenants have at least one relative get sick or die per month, so they will just have to pay you later.
• If a tenant attempts to replace the washer in a faucet, plan on replacing the faucet, perhaps all the plumbing in the building.
• Prospective tenants who make an appointment to see your rental across town often get kidnapped there, so there was no way they could call you.
• Tenants only lock up in the middle of the night, or on Christmas.
• When a furnace breaks in mid-winter, it is always the heat exchanger.
• At least one tenant's check will be "lost in the mail" monthly
• Every lost pet will find its way to your rental.
• The hardware store closes five minutes before you get there.
• A tenant's ability to see dirt and damage is much greater when they move in than when they move out.
• Your best tenants always get job transfers during the worst rental markets.
• Everything in your rentals will break 100 times faster than in your home.
• The insurance inspector always shows up to take photos of the building as you are putting the evicted tenant’s possessions on the curb.
• Tenants swear under oath that the window was broken when moving in.
• When a tenant calls and says, "Hi, how are you?" Something is drastically wrong.
• Your tenant will try to flush it down the toilet if it exists.
• If you have any questions about anything, ask your tenants.
• If it is raining, you can be sure the windows are open at one or more of your units.
• Proper disposal of chewing gum is on the carpet.