Murphy's Teaching Laws

You're not young enough to know it all. Sent by Jan Wenall.

To know more, sleep less. Sent by Jan Wenall.

If you know you are right, you are not. Sent by Brad Gochnauer.

- Brad Gochnauer

Corollary: When you get the ones you want, they change their ways and decide to make the class hard.

When there's a teacher that everyone says you want, you end up with the ones you don't want.

When you study for easy tests, you fail miserably, but when you don't study for the hard ones, you pass with 100%.

No matter how much you study for a test, you will be asked a question you don't know. Sent by David Poole.

- David Poole

You are ALWAYS wrong in your professor's eyes, so don't try. Sent by Ana M.

- Ana M.

Corollary: The likelihood of an object's disappearance varies directly with its capacity to cause a problem across the hall. Sent by Timothy Boilard.

- Timothy Boilard

Addendum: And cause a problem across the hall. Sent by Timothy Boilard.

- Timothy Boilard

Law of Inanimate Motion, aka "Tendency to Sprout Legs": Anything firmly secured in place, regardless of size, will find its way out of the room. Sent by Timothy Boilard.

- Timothy Boilard

Law of Parental Dynamics: The worst chew-out from parents always comes from an incident their child lied about. Sent by Timothy Boilard.

- Timothy Boilard

Law of Behavioral Management: Nothing like placing your nails on the chalkboard gets their attention. Sent by Timothy Boilard.

- Timothy Boilard

Law of Universal Intelligence: The most ill-behaved student in a teacher's classes is always one of the bright ones he can't flunk. Sent by Timothy Boilard.

- Timothy Boilard

Law of the Compounding of Murphy's Law: All that has been accomplished by inserting the computer into the classroom combines two areas covered under Murphy's Law. Sent by Timothy Boilard.

- Timothy Boilard

The examination paper is always easier when you are not taking it. Sent by Jyotsna.

Corollary: Merits from a teacher you hate are put on the permanent record of a student you hate even more. Sent by Lenny Quites.

- Lenny Quites

Demerits from a teacher you hate are put on your permanent record. Sent by Lenny Quites.

- Lenny Quites

The English language, e.g., is a problem when it's right. Sent by Michael.

- Michael

Students will never fail to disappoint. Sent by Grotblik.

- Grotblik

The back of the room is never far enough. Sent by Dan Goldstein.

- Dan Goldstein

Lancione's Law: You can't misspell numbers when you write them as digits. Sent by Sal Lancione.

- Sal Lancione

Penza's law about math lessons: The porter will knock at the door at the most crucial point of the lesson. Sent by Simone Penzavalle.

- Simone Penzavalle

Corollary: If attendance is optional, an exam will produce people you have never seen before.

Rominger's Rules for Teachers II: If attendance is mandatory, a scheduled exam will produce increased absenteeism.