Murphy's Teaching Laws

You're not young enough to know it all.

- Jan Wenall

To know more, sleep less.

- Jan Wenall

If you know you are right, you are not.

- Brad Gochnauer

When there's a teacher that everyone says you want, you end up with the ones you don't want.

When you study for easy tests, you fail miserably, but when you don't study for the hard ones, you pass with 100%.

No matter how much you study for a test, you will be asked a question you don't know.

- David Poole

You are ALWAYS wrong in your professor's eyes, so don't try.

- Ana M.

Law of Inanimate Motion, aka "Tendency to Sprout Legs": Anything firmly secured in place, regardless of size, will find its way out of the room.

- Timothy Boilard

Law of Parental Dynamics: The worst chew-out from parents always comes from an incident their child lied about.

- Timothy Boilard

Law of Behavioral Management: Nothing like placing your nails on the chalkboard gets their attention.

- Timothy Boilard

Law of Universal Intelligence: The most ill-behaved student in a teacher's classes is always one of the bright ones he can't flunk.

- Timothy Boilard

Law of the Compounding of Murphy's Law: All that has been accomplished by inserting the computer into the classroom combines two areas covered under Murphy's Law.

- Timothy Boilard

The examination paper is always easier when you are not taking it.

- Jyotsna

Demerits from a teacher you hate are put on your permanent record.

- Lenny Quites

The English language, e.g., is a problem when it's right.

- Michael

Students will never fail to disappoint.

- Grotblik

The back of the room is never far enough.

- Dan Goldstein

Lancione's Law: You can't misspell numbers when you write them as digits.

- Sal Lancione

Penza's law about math lessons: The porter will knock at the door at the most crucial point of the lesson.

- Simone Penzavalle

Rominger's Rules for Teachers II: If attendance is mandatory, a scheduled exam will produce increased absenteeism.

Rominger's Rules for Teachers I: When a student asks for a second time if you have read his book report, he did not read the book.

Dewey was drunk when he made the decimal system.

- Andrew Stephens

All librarians will be happy to help when you don't need it, but they will vanish when you have a question about the Dewey Decimal system.

- Andrew Stephens

The library will close 5 minutes before you remember leaving your book bag inside.

- Andrew Stephens

Library Man's Laws: You won't find the books you checked out for that big project until after either the project or the books are due.

- Andrew Stephens