Murphy's Technology Laws

Law of Repairmen: The repairman fixes your machine to break down the next day and charges for a new machine. Sent by Eddy Cosma.

- Eddy Cosma

The repairman will have never seen a model quite like yours before. Sent by Christa.

- Christa

The disappearance of a nagging error in a system is explicable only in terms of the insignificant contribution of the source to that system. Sent by Manjunatha M., an application engineer.

- Manjunatha M.

First Law of Linear Equations: Given any system of n linear equations, there will be n+1 unknowns. Sent by Bill Pramik.

- Bill Pramik

The Harvard Principle: Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of temperature, humidity, pressure, etc., the organism will do as it pleases. Sent by Bill Pramik.

- Bill Pramik

All mechanical and electrical equipment will catastrophically fail after the guarantee has expired unless an extended warranty has been purchased. Sent by Blair Murray.

Corollary: The cost and availability of a replacement part are inversely proportional to the price of the whole system: a $1500 device will fail because of the burnout of a 25¢ capacitor. But the 25¢ capacitor is either no longer manufactured, manufactured only by a company in Outer Mongolia with an 18-month backlog, or available only as part of a $1450 sub-assembly. Sent by Francis Assaf.

- Francis Assaf

Assaf's Laws of Replacement Parts: A failed 25¢ part cannot be replaced by a new 25¢ part, but by a sub-assembly whose cost is equal to or greater than that of the device needing the part.

A device with an indestructible core user serviceable component is deemed unsafe until it's replaced by an expensive, unobtainable, inefficient component that needs constant servicing. Sent by Takura Razemba.

- Takura Razemba

The degree to which a device will function is directly proportional to the number of times it has been bashed and inversely proportional to its cost. Sent by Takura Razemba.

- Takura Razemba

The more important your email is, the worse your email client will screw it up. Sent by Padme.

- Padme

The more you want to contact someone over an instant messenger, the more inversely proportional it is to the chances they will be online. Sent by Padme.

- Padme

Corollary: All impossible failures will happen on the client's desktop. Sent by Dino Price.

- Dino Price

All impossible failures will happen at the test site.

Technicians are the only ones who don't trust technology. Sent by Jan Wenall.

You're not an expert if you think you understand science, computers, or women. Sent by Jan Wenall.

The more knowledge you gain, the less certain you are. Sent by Jan Wenall.

A man with one watch is certain about time, but a man with two watches isn't. Sent by Jan Wenall.

The less intelligent the idea and the person stating it, the more likely it will be funded. Sent by Brad Gochnauer.

- Brad Gochnauer

Corollary: The investors will not be happy. Sent by Jon Proesel.

Corollary: It will happen faster than you think. Sent by Jon Proesel.

Corollary: Any project that can consume more resources before reaching its final state will do so. Sent by Jon Proesel.

The proposed size of any project is inversely proportional to its eventual size. Sent by Jon Proesel.

Interchangeable parts aren't. Sent by Trekker.

- Trekker

When you finally update to a new technology, everyone stops supporting it.