Murphy's Toddlers Laws

• When you need to carry a child, they will want to walk.
• When you want them to walk, they will want to be carried.
• When you bring the stroller, they will want to walk.
• When you forget the stroller, they will want to ride.
• The more potential a food has for stains, the greater the coverage area when a child hurls it.
• Corollary: The more potential a food has for stains, the more expensive the item of clothing/fabric/furniture it strikes. Sent by Grotblik.
• A child's favorite one day is never a favorite the next day.
• Corollary: Especially food.
• The intensity of the tantrum is directly proportional to the number of people around to witness.
• If it's mine, it's mine.
• If it's yours, it's mine.
• If I like it, it's mine.
• If I can take it from you, it is mine.
• If I am playing with something, ALL of the pieces are mine.
• If I think it is mine, it is.
• If I saw it first, it's mine.
• If I had it, put it down; it is still mine.
• If you had it, you put it down; it is now mine.
• If it looks like the one I have at home, it is mine.
• If it is broken, it is yours.
• If I make a mess, you must clean it up. Sent by Rose Wassef.
• If I broke it, it's your fault. Sent by Rose Wassef.
• The louder you speak and the more you repeat something, the more it is inversely proportional to the amount of information taken in.
• Soccer, Dance, Basketball, Softball, Piano, Girl(Boy)Scouts (etc.) are always on the same day with less than 5 minutes between.
• The more preparation time for the meal, the less likely a child is to eat it.
• The child must use the bathroom once the snow suit and accompanying paraphernalia are on.
• The child will have to use the bathroom once the child is in the car and the car has left the driveway.
• The clothes/shoes you bought last week will not fit this week or be "cool" enough for this week.
• The amount of sound from the other room is inversely proportional to the trouble the child gets into.
• The more you pay for the car seat, the more the child will hate it.
• When you are in a hurry, the child will dawdle.
• The bigger the call, the bigger the mess.
• The child will make or the louder the tantrum the child will have. Sent by Stacy Robarge.
• The availability of daycare is directly proportional to how badly you need it. Sent by Acacia Anderson.
• Your child will always wait until you are fully dressed for work before spilling their food on you. Sent by Acacia Anderson.
• The later you let a child stay up at night, the earlier he will wake up. Sent by Mary Streeter.
• If I hide it well enough, it will always be mine. Sent by Jennifer Parkins.