Murphy's Toddlers Laws

If I hide it well enough, it will always be mine.

- Jennifer Parkins

The later you let a child stay up at night, the earlier he will wake up.

- Mary Streeter

Your child will always wait until you are fully dressed for work before spilling their food on you.

- Acacia Anderson

The availability of daycare is directly proportional to how badly you need it.

- Acacia Anderson

The child will make or the louder the tantrum the child will have.

- Stacy Robarge

The bigger the call, the bigger the mess.

When you are in a hurry, the child will dawdle.

The more you pay for the car seat, the more the child will hate it.

The amount of sound from the other room is inversely proportional to the trouble the child gets into.

The clothes/shoes you bought last week will not fit this week or be "cool" enough for this week.

The child will have to use the bathroom once the child is in the car and the car has left the driveway.

The child must use the bathroom once the snow suit and accompanying paraphernalia are on.

The more preparation time for the meal, the less likely a child is to eat it.

Soccer, Dance, Basketball, Softball, Piano, Girl(Boy)Scouts (etc.) are always on the same day with less than 5 minutes between.

The louder you speak and the more you repeat something, the more it is inversely proportional to the amount of information taken in.

If I broke it, it's your fault.

- Rose Wassef

If I make a mess, you must clean it up.

- Rose Wassef

If it is broken, it is yours.

If it looks like the one I have at home, it is mine.

If you had it, you put it down; it is now mine.

If I had it, put it down; it is still mine.

If I saw it first, it's mine.

If I think it is mine, it is.

If I am playing with something, ALL of the pieces are mine.

If I can take it from you, it is mine.