Murphy's Transformers Laws

Murphy's Nitpicking Note: Every character has an aspect that can and will be insulted and ridiculed at length. Sent by Robert Mueller.

- Robert Mueller

Corollary: You're the exception, since you're unpopular and will be phased out of the series. Sent by Robert Mueller.

- Robert Mueller

Nobody ever dies; everyone returns to bug you and make you waste ammunition on them. Sent by Robert Mueller.

- Robert Mueller

Corollary: Your inner workings are not stressed to withstand hits by directed energy weaponry. Sent by Robert Mueller.

- Robert Mueller

The more powerful your altmode, the longer and easier it will be to interrupt your transformation. Sent by Robert Mueller.

- Robert Mueller

Corollary: There are no original characters, just stereotypes that have yet to become prominent. Sent by Robert Mueller.

- Robert Mueller

The typical job interview will begin with "So, what cultural stereotype do you represent?" Sent by Robert Mueller.

- Robert Mueller

Even if you wield the Matrix, end the war, and save the universe a few times, there'll still be a writer out there who will see to it that you'll be remembered for that one horrible story you were in. Sent by Robert Mueller.

- Robert Mueller

If your leader carries a big cannon on his right arm, respectfully request a transfer. Sent by Robert Mueller.

- Robert Mueller

When you think you've cornered someone, they'll call in their friends and combine into a huge lumbering giant who will promptly crush you. Sent by Robert Mueller.

- Robert Mueller

If you have an aerial altmode and take to the sky, someone will hit you with an EMP blast. Sent by Robert Mueller.

- Robert Mueller

Shoot them all, let Primus sort them out. Sent by Robert Mueller.

- Robert Mueller

Murphy's Cybertron Blues T-Shirt Analogy: My family was killed in the Great War that has lasted for millions of years, my city got burned down, Decepticons ripped me to pieces, Unicron attempted to eat my home world, and all I got was this stinking Autobot sigil burned onto my chest. Sent by Robert Mueller.

- Robert Mueller

Cybertronian Marksmanship is an oxymoron. Sent by Robert Mueller.

- Robert Mueller

Just because you have a ten in one of your stats doesn't mean some leader toy can't pulverize you with its 10+ stat. Sent by Robert Mueller.

- Robert Mueller

Murphy's Law of Acceptable Disguise: All good altmodes are taken. Sent by Robert Mueller.

- Robert Mueller

Corollary: If enough people complain, they'll bring you back and piss off the continuity-worshipping fan-boys. Sent by Robert Mueller.

- Robert Mueller

Never deceive yourself into thinking you're the toughest Transformer. If Hasbro doesn't want to sell your toy, they'll find a way to kill you. Sent by Robert Mueller.

- Robert Mueller