Medals are OK, but having your body and friends in one piece at the end of the day is better.
- Jim
Murphy's War Laws
Dive into the pessimism of Murphy's War Laws. Here are 194 reasons why you should always have a backup plan.
Laws in this category
- Truga
A combat vet will know the sound of an unfamiliar weapon in an instant and will point and shoot.
- Jim
Saddam's Last Law of War: Don't pick a fight with the baddest guys on the block!
- Jim Kirk
The only thing more dangerous to you than the enemy is your allies.
- Marc Underwood
Revision to Marine Corp. Motto: "If it makes sense, we won't do it".
- Larry Wotring
You never have fire support in a heavy firefight, but you always have it on a silent recon mission.
- Roswell
Give an order, then change the order, and you will get disorder.
- Samuel
If you survive extraordinary things, they will often be the little things that will kill you.
If God wanted boots to be comfortable, he would have designed them like running shoes.
- Pv1 Goetze
If it's worth fighting for, it's worth fighting dirty for. Vietnam '65.
- C. Harper
It is better to be lucky than good on the battlefield.
- Rob
Near death, but still alive? There is nothing wrong with physics. God doesn't like you.
An escaping soldier can be used again.
- Asier Zabarte
War does not determine who is right; war determines who is left and Aus.
- Quenya
- Darrell A. Pierce
Failure of plan A will directly affect your ability to carry out plan B.
- Lenny Quites
Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.
- Michael Desai
- Michael Desai
Stay away from officers in combat, they're clever decoys for noncoms.
- Michael Desai
- Michael Desai
- Michael Desai
- Michael Desai
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- Best Murphy's Laws A curated starting point.
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More laws in this category
- Friendly fire - isn't
- Recoilless rifles - aren't
- Suppressive fires - won't
- You are not Superman; Marines and fighter pilots take note
- A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down
- Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you
- If at first you don't succeed, call in an air strike
- If you are ahead of your position, your artillery will fall short
- Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself
- Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself
- Remember, the lowest bidder made your weapon
- If your attack is going well, it's an ambush
- The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack
- The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions
- No OPLAN ever survives initial contact
- There is no such thing as a perfect plan
- Five-second fuses always burn three seconds
- There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole
- A retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping
- The important things are always simple; the simple are always difficult
- The easy way is always mined
- Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at
- Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire. For this reason, it is not uncommon for aircraft carriers to be...
- Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you
- You are in the combat zone if you are short of everything but the enemy
- When you have secured the area, ensure the enemy knows it too
- Incoming fire has the right of way
- No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection
- No inspection-ready unit has ever passed combat
- If the enemy is within range, so are you
- The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire
- Things that must be shipped together as a set aren't
- Things that must work together can't be carried to the field that way
- Radios will fail once you need fire support
- Radar tends to fail at night, in bad weather, and especially during both.)
- Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing
- Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out
- Tracers work both ways
- If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will get more than your fair share of objectives...
- They're both right when both sides are convinced they're about to lose
- Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs
- Military Intelligence is a contradiction
- Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up
- The weather ain't neutral
- If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed toward you
- Air defense motto
- 'Flies high, it dies; low and slow, it'll go
- The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue
- Napalm is an area support weapon
- Mines are equal opportunity weapons
- B-52s are the ultimate close support weapon
- Sniper's motto
- Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity
- The one item you need is always in short supply
- It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom
- It may concern" you've got to think about
- When in doubt, empty your magazine
- The side with the simplest uniforms wins
- Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps
- If the Platoon Sergeant can see you, so can the enemy
- The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass
- Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan
- Everything always works in your HQ and fails in the Colonel's HQ
- The enemy never watches until you make a mistake
- One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many
- A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet for mud and rain
- Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. You can't hit the broad side of a barn whenever you are...
- The more a weapon costs, the farther you must send it away to be repaired
- The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator
- No matter which way you have to march, it's always uphill
- If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove anything
- For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. (in boot camp)
- Air strikes always overshoot the target, and artillery always falls short
- When reviewing the radio frequencies you wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible
- Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA
- The difficult part about being an officer is that the troops don't know what they want but know what they...
- Stealing information from a person is called plagiarism. Stealing information from the enemy is called...
- The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the M60
- The perfect officer for the job will transfer on the day after that billet is filled by someone else
- When you have sufficient supplies & ammo, the enemy takes 2 weeks to attack
- The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the Medal of Honor
- A Purple Heart proves that you were smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky...
- Murphy was a grunt
- Beer Math
- Body count Math
- The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range
- All-weather close air support doesn't work in bad weather
- The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the smartness of its outfit and appearance
- The crucial round is a dud
- Every command that can be misunderstood will be
- There is no place like a convenient foxhole
- If your positions are firmly set and you are prepared to take the enemy assault on, he will bypass you
- The enemy won't walk into your ambush if properly set
- If your flank march is going well, the enemy expects you to outflank him
- Fire density increases proportionally to the target's curiosity
- Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one
- The more stupid the leader is, the more important missions he is ordered to carry out
- The self-importance of a superior is inversely proportional to his position in the hierarchy (as is his...
- Success occurs when no one is looking; failure occurs when the General is watching
- The enemy never monitors your radio frequency until you broadcast on an unsecured channel
- Whenever you drop your equipment in a firefight, your ammo and grenades always fall the farthest away, and...
- It rains when you are served hot chow in the field
- Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do
- The seriousness of a wound (in a firefight) is inversely proportional to the distance to any form of cover
- Walking point = sniper bait
- Your bivouac for the night is the spot where you got tired of marching that day
- If only one solution for a field problem can be found, it is usually a stupid solution
- No battle plan survives contact with the enemy
- The most dangerous in a combat zone is an officer with a map
- The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it
- The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at
- If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush
- The quartermaster has only two sizes
- If you need an officer in a hurry, take a nap
- The only time suppressive fireworks are used is on abandoned positions
- Nothing is more satisfying than having someone take a shot at you and miss
- Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants
- If you see you, so can the enemy
- All or any of the above combined
- Avoid loud noises; there are few silent killers in a combat zone
- Never screw over a buddy; you'll never know when he could save your life
- Never expect rations; the only rations that will be on time and won't be short are the rations of shit
- Respect all religions in a combat zone. Take no chances on where you may go if killed
- A half-filled canteen is a beacon for a fully loaded enemy weapon
- When in a firefight, kill as many as possible. The one you miss may not miss tomorrow
- Carrying too much ammo is physically impossible
- If you survive an ambush, something's wrong
- Some General's last words (as his aides tried to get him to get his head down)
- If you can see the flashes from the enemies' guns in battle, he can see yours too
- Flashlights, lighters, and matches don't just illuminate the surrounding area, but also you
- Just because you have nearly impenetrable body armor and a hard-ass Kevlar helmet doesn't mean you don't...
- A few times, the enemy can't hear you
- Never cover a dead body with your own in hopes of looking like you're one of the casualties. Even using...
- You're only better than your enemy if you kill him first
- Complain about the rations all you want, but just remember, they could very well be your last meal
- Never underestimate the ability of the brass to foul things up
- You have two mortal enemies in combat
- You think the enemy has better artillery support, and the enemy thinks yours is better; you're both right
- Three things you will never see in combat
- "Live" and "Hero" are mutually exclusive terms
- Don't be a hero
- Once you are in the fight, it is too late to wonder if this is a good idea
- NEVER get into a fight without more ammunition than the other guy
- Cover your Buddy, so he can be around to cover for you
- Decisions made by someone over your head will seldom be in your best interest
- Sometimes, being good and lucky still is not enough
- If the rear echelon troops are happy, the front-line forces may not have what they need
- If you are wearing body armor, they will probably miss that part. Happiness is a belt-fed weapon
- Having all your body parts intact and functioning at the end of the day beats the alternative
- If you are allergic to lead, it is best to avoid a war zone
- Hot garrison chow is better than hot C-rations, which, in turn, are better than cold C-rations and no food
- A free fire zone has nothing to do with economics
- Being shot hurts
- Thousands of Veterans earn bravery medals daily. A few were even awarded and
- There is only one rule in war
- C-4 can make a dull day fun
- There is no such thing as a fair fight -- only ones where you win or lose
- If you win the battle, you are entitled to the spoils. If you lose, you don't care
- Nobody cares what you did yesterday or what you will do tomorrow. What is important is what you are doing...
- Always make sure someone has a can opener
- Prayer may not help, but it can't hurt
- Flying is better than walking. Walking is better than running. Running is better than crawling. All of...
- None of us can ever fully come home if everyone does not come home
- Carrying any weapon you weren't issued (e.g, an AK) in combat is Not A Good Idea
- As noted, "Friendly fire isn't!"
- When the going gets tough, the tough go cyclic
- Military Intelligence is not a contradiction, but "Light Infantry" is
- Proximity factor
- Always keep one bullet in the chamber when changing your magazine. E.S