Murphy's Helicopters Warfare Laws

Ch-53s are living proof that it will fly if you strap enough engines to something. Sent by Jason Koeck.

- Jason Koeck

The mark of a truly superior pilot is the use of his superior judgment to avoid situations requiring the use of his exceptional skill. Sent by Brad Lucas, CPT, AV USA Ret, and a 1st Gulf War Vet.

Any of these stories that end with "No shit." was neither true nor false. Sent by Brad Lucas, CPT, AV USA Ret, and a 1st Gulf War Vet.

- Brad Lucas

Any helicopter pilot story that starts "There I was,...." will be either true or false. Sent by Brad Lucas, CPT, AV USA Ret, and a 1st Gulf War Vet.

There are 'old' pilots and 'bold' pilots, but there are no 'old, bold' pilots.

LZs are always hot. Sent by loony39478@yahoo.com

- loony39478@yahoo.com

It is mathematically impossible for hummingbirds or helicopters to fly. Fortunately, neither is aware of this. Sent by Darrell A. Pierce.

- Darrell A. Pierce

Helicopters have been described as nothing more than 50,000 parts flying in close formation. It is the mechanic's responsibility to keep that formation as tight as possible. Sent by Darrell A. Pierce.

- Darrell A. Pierce

Corollary: Any combination of these can be deadly. Sent by Jim Kirk with the courtesy of his brother-in-law, CWO4 Larry Gilbert (Ret).

- Jim Kirk

Running out of pedal, fore or aft cyclic, or collective are all bad ideas. Sent by Jim Kirk with the courtesy of his brother-in-law, CWO4 Larry Gilbert (Ret).

- Jim Kirk

Corollary: Thus, the term 'SHIT!' can also be used to denote a situation where a high Pucker Factor is being encountered. Sent by Jim Kirk with the courtesy of his brother-in-law, CWO4 Larry Gilbert (Ret).

- Jim Kirk

Corollary: It can be expressed in its mathematical formula of: S (suction) + H (height above ground) + I (interest in staying alive) + T (# of tracers coming your way). Sent by Jim Kirk with the courtesy of his brother-in-law, CWO4 Larry Gilbert (Ret).

- Jim Kirk

Pucker Factor" is the formal name of the equation that states the more hairy the situation is, the more of the seat cushion will be sucked up your butt. Sent by Jim Kirk with the courtesy of his brother-in-law, CWO4 Larry Gilbert (Ret).

- Jim Kirk

Running out of airspeed, altitude, and ideas all at once is bad. Sent by Jim Kirk, with the courtesy of his brother-in-law, CWO4 Larry Gilbert (Ret).

The further you fly into the mountains, the louder the strange engine noises become. Sent by Jim Kirk with the courtesy of his brother-in-law, CWO4 Larry Gilbert (Ret).

- Jim Kirk

Loud, sudden noises in a helicopter WILL get your undivided attention. Sent by Jim Kirk with the courtesy of his brother-in-law, CWO4 Larry Gilbert (Ret).

- Jim Kirk

Corollary: The longer you stare at the gauges, the less time it takes them to move from green to red. Sent by Jim Kirk with the courtesy of his brother-in-law, CWO4 Larry Gilbert (Ret).

- Jim Kirk

The BSR (Bang Stare Red) Law: The louder the sudden bang in the helicopter, the quicker your eyes will be drawn to the gauges. Sent by Jim Kirk with the courtesy of his brother-in-law, CWO4 Larry Gilbert (Ret).

- Jim Kirk

Chicken Plates" are not something you order in a restaurant. Sent by Jim Kirk with the courtesy of his brother-in-law, CWO4 Larry Gilbert (Ret).

- Jim Kirk

The terms Protective Armor and Helicopter are mutually exclusive. Sent by Jim Kirk with the courtesy of his brother-in-law, CWO4 Larry Gilbert (Ret).

- Jim Kirk

Corollary: Failure to heed this commandment can adversely affect the crew's morale. Sent by Jim Kirk with the courtesy of his brother-in-law, CWO4 Larry Gilbert (Ret).

- Jim Kirk

The engine and rotor RPM must both be kept in the green. Sent by Jim Kirk, courtesy of his brother-in-law, CWO4 Larry Gilbert (Ret).

Corollary: While it may be possible to ward off this event some of the time, it cannot, despite the best efforts of the crew, always be prevented. It's just what they do. Sent by Jim Kirk with the courtesy of his brother-in-law, CWO4 Larry Gilbert (Ret).

- Jim Kirk

Helicopter tail rotors are naturally drawn toward trees, stumps, rocks, etc. Sent by Jim Kirk with the courtesy of his brother-in-law, CWO4 Larry Gilbert (Ret).

- Jim Kirk